drinking mango milkshake
how can you same time feel so exited and so sad and anxious?
last night i cryed : "i dont wanna go i dont wanan go".
then i know i really have to.
my man says "i most fear the quietness". i always make litlle songs, dance,make noises or speak or laugh or something.
i fear the quietness too and feeling i cannot speak to anyone.
good i am this social person, i like to smile and laugh a lot, i usually start to speak to strangers if i feel like it.
i called to american friend to london and she gived me good advices.
gived strenght and said it will be hard but you will manage it you are strong.
she telled about the wonderful theory teaching in there.
in poland i wont understand any of the lectures and i dont really know
is there any in english, maybe if there is a english artist. i saw
there was some.
i have a little toy monkey with my mans band t- shirt on.
i have to still be messing out with medicens calling the doctors,visit my school etc. im soouuuuuu stressed out.
S keeps me in his arms i says everything will be ok. i try to believe that .
i pack my brushes and get ready of museums,study of them.
i love polish symbolism and i think i just sit in the museums and study them.
paintings be my comfort.
try to become as best i can.
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